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Re: Todays Funny [Re: K W FRITH] #534742
Sun May 11 2014 10:34 PM
Sun May 11 2014 10:34 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
Dave's Garage Offline
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Dave's Garage  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...

A blonde chick gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds.

She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Yes.' he says..

'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.

'It's best I stay here.' he says.

'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.


The boy says: "Because I'm the goal keeper !!!"


Last edited by Dave's Garage; Sun May 11 2014 10:35 PM.

Dave GILL,
Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Dave's Garage] #535674
Thu May 15 2014 06:43 PM
Thu May 15 2014 06:43 PM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,150
Illinois
Cold Pizza Offline OP
Veteran Member
Cold Pizza  Offline OP
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,150
Illinois
The following announcement is true:
The preceding announcement was false.


Collecting Vintage Sunoco
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #537012
Wed May 21 2014 03:42 PM
Wed May 21 2014 03:42 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,752
Edgewater, Colorful Colorado
st.rod Offline
Veteran Member
st.rod  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,752
Edgewater, Colorful Colorado
A true romantic!


Subject: Through The Eyes Of A Man

.

A wife was curious when she found two old negatives in a drawer and had them made into prints. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!", he said with appreciation, "That's my old Ford!".


In memory of DB 9/12/49 - 8/28/14
Re: Todays Funny [Re: st.rod] #538317
Tue May 27 2014 03:46 PM
Tue May 27 2014 03:46 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,675
Devils Lake, ND---USA
K W FRITH Offline
Veteran Member
K W FRITH  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,675
Devils Lake, ND---USA
Why Men Wear Earrings
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men ?
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an
earring.
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is
curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense"
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods
him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one ?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
(I always wondered how this trend got started)


Everything Cities Service
Specializing in old Gas Pumps
kwfrith@gondtc.com
Cell#-701-739-6133
Re: Todays Funny [Re: K W FRITH] #538606
Wed May 28 2014 09:49 PM
Wed May 28 2014 09:49 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
JUNK KING Offline
Veteran Member
JUNK KING  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.

The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.

The blonde follows the doctor`s advice and after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she`d indeed lost twenty pounds.

She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question, "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"


Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal.
Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: JUNK KING] #541266
Tue Jun 10 2014 07:05 AM
Tue Jun 10 2014 07:05 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,150
Illinois
Cold Pizza Offline OP
Veteran Member
Cold Pizza  Offline OP
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,150
Illinois
How do you spot a man in a nudist colony?


It's not very hard.


Collecting Vintage Sunoco
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #541334
Tue Jun 10 2014 10:50 AM
Tue Jun 10 2014 10:50 AM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
Dave's Garage Offline
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Dave's Garage  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
.

Potatoes.jpg

Dave GILL,
Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Dave's Garage] #541397
Tue Jun 10 2014 03:06 PM
Tue Jun 10 2014 03:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,752
Edgewater, Colorful Colorado
st.rod Offline
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st.rod  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,752
Edgewater, Colorful Colorado

A Loving Grandpa.....

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3
year-old grandson.



It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets
in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in
the other aisles.


Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice,
"Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."


Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William,
just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad
says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset.
We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."


Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his
groceries and the boy into the car.


She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were
amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your
composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept
saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William ........the little $hit's name is
Kevin."


In memory of DB 9/12/49 - 8/28/14
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #541425
Tue Jun 10 2014 04:42 PM
Tue Jun 10 2014 04:42 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,594
North Jersey
M
MetroPetro Offline
Veteran Member
MetroPetro  Offline
Veteran Member
M
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,594
North Jersey
How do you identify the blind guy at the nude beach?

Its not hard.


Looking for photos, etc from 60s era Shell-A-Rama gas station and Pal's Diner, Rt. 17 Mahwah, NJ
& US or state highway signs, shields, route markers
Re: Todays Funny [Re: MetroPetro] #542299
Sat Jun 14 2014 03:41 PM
Sat Jun 14 2014 03:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
Dave's Garage Offline
Veteran Member
Dave's Garage  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
The Talking Centipede


A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede,
which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go
down the pub with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet..

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going down the pub with me ?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.

This time he put his face up against the centipede's box and shouted, "HEY, IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE PUB WITH ME?"

.....
This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time!

I'm putting my F***#*ing shoes on!"


Dave GILL,
Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: huskybob] #542541
Sun Jun 15 2014 07:37 PM
Sun Jun 15 2014 07:37 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 762
Hibbing,Minn,US
toychaser2005 Offline
Petro Enthusiast
toychaser2005  Offline
Petro Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 762
Hibbing,Minn,US
you got a shovel in your back pocket ? ,cuz im digging that *****


Sarcasm Is Just One More Free Service I Offer !
Re: Todays Funny [Re: toychaser2005] #542561
Sun Jun 15 2014 08:38 PM
Sun Jun 15 2014 08:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 142
North dakota,mapleton
1968pickup Offline
Petro Enthusiast
1968pickup  Offline
Petro Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 142
North dakota,mapleton
why did the bicycle fall over? ..... it was two tired

Re: Todays Funny [Re: 1968pickup] #542564
Sun Jun 15 2014 09:02 PM
Sun Jun 15 2014 09:02 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
JUNK KING Offline
Veteran Member
JUNK KING  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?


Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal.
Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: JUNK KING] #542567
Sun Jun 15 2014 09:06 PM
Sun Jun 15 2014 09:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
JUNK KING Offline
Veteran Member
JUNK KING  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal.
Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: JUNK KING] #543945
Mon Jun 23 2014 07:51 AM
Mon Jun 23 2014 07:51 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,150
Illinois
Cold Pizza Offline OP
Veteran Member
Cold Pizza  Offline OP
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,150
Illinois
.

trees.jpg
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