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Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #543985
Mon Jun 23 2014 11:20 AM
Mon Jun 23 2014 11:20 AM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
JUNK KING Offline
Veteran Member
JUNK KING  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
"Shovel ready project"


Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal.
Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #544165
Mon Jun 23 2014 11:23 PM
Mon Jun 23 2014 11:23 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,622
Grants Pass, OR, USA
bruzer75 Offline
Veteran Member
bruzer75  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,622
Grants Pass, OR, USA
Those Sneaky squirrels! Haha
May our lives glorify God,
Michael

Re: Todays Funny [Re: bruzer75] #550615
Thu Jul 03 2014 12:11 AM
Thu Jul 03 2014 12:11 AM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,713
Near Tracy Rock
H
huskybob Offline
Veteran Member
huskybob  Offline
Veteran Member
H
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,713
Near Tracy Rock
The only cow in a small town in Tennessee stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a super milk cow up in Michigan, for $800.00.

They bought the cow from Michigan and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away.If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Michigan ?" The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Michigan ?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,
"My wife is from Michigan ."

Re: Todays Funny [Re: huskybob] #551500
Mon Jul 07 2014 12:23 PM
Mon Jul 07 2014 12:23 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
Dave's Garage Offline
Veteran Member
Dave's Garage  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."


Dave GILL,
Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Dave's Garage] #551545
Mon Jul 07 2014 03:33 PM
Mon Jul 07 2014 03:33 PM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,084
Michigan
Oilcanman87 Offline
Veteran Member
Oilcanman87  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,084
Michigan
That's a good ole knee slapper there Dave.

Last edited by Oilcanman87; Mon Jul 07 2014 03:34 PM.

Oilzum, 1qt Oil Cans, Gas and Oil smalls, Oldsmobile collectables.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Oilcanman87] #551723
Tue Jul 08 2014 02:28 PM
Tue Jul 08 2014 02:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 8,994
Antioch,IL
oldnfuelish Offline
Veteran Member
oldnfuelish  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 8,994
Antioch,IL


Looking for gas,oil related clocks,especially neon and spinners .clock repair available. Mick
Re: Todays Funny [Re: oldnfuelish] #551743
Tue Jul 08 2014 04:07 PM
Tue Jul 08 2014 04:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
JUNK KING Offline
Veteran Member
JUNK KING  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,005
Oklahoma
That's god stuff Mick.


Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal.
Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: JUNK KING] #554202
Fri Jul 18 2014 08:01 AM
Fri Jul 18 2014 08:01 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,228
Illinois
Cold Pizza Online content OP
Veteran Member
Cold Pizza  Online Content OP
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,228
Illinois
.

summertime.jpg
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #554324
Sat Jul 19 2014 04:33 AM
Sat Jul 19 2014 04:33 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 965
Lebanon, Indiana. USA
Gaspedler Offline
Petro Enthusiast
Gaspedler  Offline
Petro Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 965
Lebanon, Indiana. USA
.

Baiting Deer1.jpg
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Gaspedler] #555296
Tue Jul 22 2014 07:39 PM
Tue Jul 22 2014 07:39 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,204
citrus heights ca.95610
hawkike Offline
Veteran Member
hawkike  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,204
citrus heights ca.95610
Sue Wong marries Lee Wong,a year later they have a baby,problem--the baby is white.The nurse says to Lee Wong "what will you name your baby?'.Lee Wong says--two Wongs do not make a white.I will name him ---

Sum Ting Wong!!

Re: Todays Funny [Re: hawkike] #556042
Fri Jul 25 2014 01:53 PM
Fri Jul 25 2014 01:53 PM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,228
Illinois
Cold Pizza Online content OP
Veteran Member
Cold Pizza  Online Content OP
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,228
Illinois
.

funny1.jpg
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Cold Pizza] #556048
Fri Jul 25 2014 02:26 PM
Fri Jul 25 2014 02:26 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,855
Devils Lake, ND---USA
K W FRITH Offline
Veteran Member
K W FRITH  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,855
Devils Lake, ND---USA
A few questions!

Q1..
In which battle did Napoleon die? *
his last battle

Q2..
Where was the Declaration of Independence
signed? *
at the bottom of the page

Q3..
River Ravi flows in which state? *
liquid

Q4..
What is the main reason for divorce? *
marriage

Q5..
What is the main reason for failure? *
exams

Q6..
What can you never eat for breakfast? *
Lunch & dinner

Q7..
What looks like half an apple? *
The other half

Q8..
If you throw a red stone into the blue sea
what it will become? *
Wet

Q9..
How can a man go eight dayswithout
sleeping ? *
No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10.
How can you lift an elephant with
one hand? *
You will never find an elephant that
has one hand.

Q11.
If you had three apples and four oranges in one
hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand,
what would you have ? *
Very large hands

Q12.
If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it? *
No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it? *
Any way you want, concrete floors
are very hard to crack.

Spread some laughter, share the cheer Let's
be happy, while we're here !!


Everything Cities Service
Specializing in old Gas Pumps
kwfrith@gondtc.com
Cell#-701-739-6133
Re: Todays Funny [Re: K W FRITH] #556055
Fri Jul 25 2014 03:32 PM
Fri Jul 25 2014 03:32 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 22,780
Santa Paula, Calif
Dick Bennett Offline
Veteran Member
Dick Bennett  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 22,780
Santa Paula, Calif
OMG,
Kevin has been visiting the Rest Home or Pre-Schooler's, AGAIN!

Re: Todays Funny [Re: Dick Bennett] #556319
Sun Jul 27 2014 12:22 AM
Sun Jul 27 2014 12:22 AM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
Dave's Garage Offline
Veteran Member
Dave's Garage  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,818
Abbotsford, British Columbia, ...
"YOU NEVER SURPRISE ME" A woman complained one day to her long suffering husband.

Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that can accelerate from 0 to 150 in under 4 seconds, .. And I'd prefer a blue one!" she hinted.

Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.

And finally she got the beautiful present her husband had thoughtfully chosen for her ...

He's dead now ... But he died a legend!!!

Scroll down

Scale1.jpg

Dave GILL,
Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
Re: Todays Funny [Re: Dave's Garage] #558079
Mon Aug 04 2014 06:40 AM
Mon Aug 04 2014 06:40 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,855
Devils Lake, ND---USA
K W FRITH Offline
Veteran Member
K W FRITH  Offline
Veteran Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,855
Devils Lake, ND---USA
This morning I was beaten up by a woman.
I was in an elevator when this beautiful, busty woman got in.
I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

I don't remember much after that, I wish women would be more clear on
what they want!


Everything Cities Service
Specializing in old Gas Pumps
kwfrith@gondtc.com
Cell#-701-739-6133
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