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Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal. Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
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Those Sneaky squirrels! Haha May our lives glorify God, Michael
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The only cow in a small town in Tennessee stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a super milk cow up in Michigan, for $800.00.
They bought the cow from Michigan and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away.If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."
The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Michigan ?" The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Michigan ?"
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Michigan ."
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A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."
Dave GILL, Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
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That's a good ole knee slapper there Dave.
Last edited by Oilcanman87; Mon Jul 07 2014 03:34 PM.
Oilzum, 1qt Oil Cans, Gas and Oil smalls, Oldsmobile collectables.
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Looking for gas,oil related clocks,especially neon and spinners .clock repair available. Mick
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Seeking Knowledge and a Good Deal. Always looking for neon signs and skins , Flying A ,& Wayne 60s.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,639 Likes: 42
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 992
Petro Enthusiast
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Sue Wong marries Lee Wong,a year later they have a baby,problem--the baby is white.The nurse says to Lee Wong "what will you name your baby?'.Lee Wong says--two Wongs do not make a white.I will name him ---
Sum Ting Wong!!
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A few questions!
Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle
Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page
Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid
Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage
Q5.. What is the main reason for failure? * exams
Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner
Q7.. What looks like half an apple? * The other half
Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * Wet
Q9.. How can a man go eight dayswithout sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has one hand.
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? * Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack. Spread some laughter, share the cheer Let's be happy, while we're here !!
Everything Cities Service Specializing in old Gas Pumps kwfrith@gondtc.com Cell#-701-739-6133
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OMG, Kevin has been visiting the Rest Home or Pre-Schooler's, AGAIN!
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"YOU NEVER SURPRISE ME" A woman complained one day to her long suffering husband.
Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that can accelerate from 0 to 150 in under 4 seconds, .. And I'd prefer a blue one!" she hinted. Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday. And finally she got the beautiful present her husband had thoughtfully chosen for her ... He's dead now ... But he died a legend!!!
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Dave GILL, Dave's Garage & Memorabilia, Inc.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 12,282 Likes: 12
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This morning I was beaten up by a woman. I was in an elevator when this beautiful, busty woman got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"
I don't remember much after that, I wish women would be more clear on what they want!
Everything Cities Service Specializing in old Gas Pumps kwfrith@gondtc.com Cell#-701-739-6133
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