Primarily Petroliana Shop Talk Forums Shop Talk Petroliana Forums General Petroliana Discussion How much $$ before you get the wifes approval?

So the wife checked the I-pad this am and found out how much I spent on a sign (I know rookie mistake). I try to be a good husband, and open about our finances however I had considered my gas and oil junk 'off limits'. So how much do you spend before getting spousal approval?

Good question. Lucky for me since I buy and sell for a living anything I want to keep if I can afford it gets lost in the shuffle. Plus I do my own finances, checkbooks, etc. so this never comes up. Keep her happy and buy her things and you'll "get away" with more! Show her you can make extra money on stuff you buy and that is the key...Scott B.

For many years I spent money and did things without my Wife's approval. Now, I try to make my Wife involved in everything I do and $0 money is spent without her approval. I also believe my Wife is a blessing from God. She is a part of me and if properly honored, cared for and listened to, she makes wiser decisions than I do. My life is better and more fulfilling now that I keep her informed and make her a part of my life. Your Wife is meant to last you a lifetime. God wants you to have a successful marriage. Learn from God and He can open the door to your Wife's heart and soul. Good luck, stay safe and may God bless us all.
Mike

Good advice Mike !

Depends on how much you have as disposable income; if someone makes 250k a year then spending 5k on a sign is realistic; if someone makes 40k a year then 5k is way over the top and probably grounds for a divorce...maybe even 1k would be too much...its all relative. Also, does she have a "hobby" or expense that is off limits to you?

funny story- I had paid xxx amount for a sign from an old bulk plant the guy was selling out, my wife thought the sign was neat (my thing, not really hers) asked how much i paid and was kind of shocked about it for a sign. the next fall she bought 110 bales of hay for the horse for roughly the same amount (her thing, not really mine) a year later the sign is still hanging in the shop and the hay (second time around) is making the grass grow!

I don't really ever ask for approval.We have been together long enough that I think she trusts me to spend "stupid money"for something I really want at times,but even then won't go into the realm of what I think of as "crazy money".To me there is a difference,and as noted,the amounts are relative to disposable income.

I will say this.Around here,several very nice collections are owned by married men whose wives are very interested in their collections and in some cases involved in assembling them.I am fortunate to be one of those and will tell you that my wife is proud of what I have managed to put together.If you can get your wife involved in you collection,it is much more enjoyable to put one together in my experience.

Amen to all that!! My wife goes to auctions and Iowa Gas every year with me always helping out and enjoying it all. She even has photos at work of my collection showing it off to many others. Early on in our relationship we bought her uncles farm that she had wanted since she was a kid, which allowed her to get horses and build a horse barn. I think if you start out helping each other in filling dreams and addictions your partner like god will be by your side with any choices you make in life!!

My wife is always aware of all my purchases. We have mutually, come to an understanding that it's best that she doesn't ask and I don't tell her what I pay for the items. According to her, what she doesn't know can't bother her.

Only time, she is aware of what I'm paying is when I buy a large collection that involves me moving monies around from our various accounts and she has to go in to the bank to make transfers.

As always, their is a reasonable expectation of profit when buying multiples or doubles and I pay her reward up front. As I did recently in this thread....

http://www.oldgas.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=385985#Post385985

I am fortunate as my wife places great trust, in my ability to earn and grow our money. Although on an occasion or two she has offered me advice. Most notably, "Sometimes the best way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket."!

My wife doesn't ask and I don't tell her, but she is not ignorant to the fact that this stuff isn't cheap. I don't take money from our checking account, I have a separate account just for gas and oil stuff. If I make extra money or sell something it goes in that fund. I also in return don't say a word when she spends money on a coach purse and man she has a lot of them. Ten years from now my gas oil will be worth more than her coach purses I can guarantee you that.

I pretty much buy anything I want and she buys anything she wants. She makes more than I do generally and we have my money, her money and our money. As long as the bills get paid there is never a question. Currently looking at an item for one of my collections that I will go to around $10,000 on if that is what it takes. You have to spend it so you have a reason to go to work everyday.

I agre with everyone so far but Mike & Shawn I hear where you are coming from!! Shawn the purses are worth much less 6 months later & I also can guarantee that LoL

Oh come on Brad that hurts lol. I really don't keep it from my wife but she never asks. She does pick up the globe book once in a while so like I said she knows what this stuff is worth. She was also with me when I bought my most expensive globe and it was her idea.

Just curious Scott. Does she have any idea of the price of the back yard art.....gas pumps?

Here is the deal with my wife and I, We have a 51% veto power rule on things over $100. If she says no, no more questions and the same thing with her when she ask me. We also have a fun account where we get 15 bucks a week to spend on what we want, and we can let i accumulate... BUT I do have a separate account for gas/oil, guns, cars, etc.... I have spent a ton in the last 8-9 months on oil and gas items (close to 10k!) but I also have traded alot to get what I want and with my trading money she can't say a word.

We dont make a lot of money, she is a school teacher and i dont have a real full time job. I am 23 years old and doing this for fun and to build a nice collection. I keep a record of what i buy and sale and how much i make on items. This keeps her happy and me sane.

So best to talk about it and make up what works best for you.

"I think if you start out helping each other in filling dreams and addictions your partner like god will be by your side with any choices you make in life!"

Amen!

My wife buys whatever she wants and I buy whatever I want, we know our limits and boundaries and trust that each other will make wise choices. If it's a large purchase for our home, or a car etc... we will confer; as long as we meet our commitments, keep building our "Nest Egg", and able to pay for college x 2, it's all good! It has to be a partnership in order for it to be successful!

What??? Nobody told me that! I didn't know I was supposed to be asking for approval...no wonder I am always begging for forgiveness!

LOL! It's easier to ask forgivness than to ask permission !
Maria has her scrap booking and coach purses,I got gas/oil/clocks.of course some of the things I buy are suddenly hers,but it keeps her happy.bills are paid,food on the table,savings done,I get to keep some of my extra! Like Brad and Shawn say,what's gonna be worth more down the road? Sometimes things just magically appear in my garage.and now she wants a pontoon!ah well... Happy wife,happy life!

My wife buys what she wants and likes and so do I If the item is high priced we usually talk it over She has been with me when buying stuff and never says no I do spend more than her,but we both know the limits

Every family is different. Financial resources, particularly the disposable income available is a big factor. If family finances are tight, a responsible husband and wife should agree on significant purchases. Fighting over that stuff is never good.

I never have to ask the wife if I can buying anything...simply because I don't have one! What am I doing here? LOL! Happy Life...NO WIFE!

A few years ago I bought an original Station Lighter off of e-Bay. My wife decided to come along for the road trip. While picking up the station lighter the gentleman offered to sell me a nicely restored National Simplex 60 for $4500.00 US. Which was a very good buy, my wife could sense my excitement. But, I didn't buy the pump.

As we were driving back home, my wife asked; why I didn't buy the pump as she had noted that I wanted it. I advised her that, I was unsure how she would have felt about me buying it. She appreciated the fact that I was thoughtful and considerate of her feelings. She asked me to turn around and she bought me the pump (She paid for it). Both are keepers the wife and the pump!!

My greatest fear is that my wife when I'm gone, will sell my stuff for what I told her I paid for it.

I have a bigger fear! My wife has the gas n oil and soda addiction, as bad as we do. She buys as much or more than I do? I got up and went to the bathroom at Iowa gas auction and she bought a $4300 sign, and did not tell me until it was time for me to pay.. I love it and her.
Ric

How much $$$ before you get the wife's approval?
Many years ago when my addition started with with pumps and signs my wife thought I needed therapy and I probably DID. I have never used any of our income from work or savings to purchase anything for my addition.
I have a great and loving wife who now stands with me at auctions and has seen and shared the profit from it. I have had to pass many of great deals due to not having anough money availible. Family has always been the most important thing in my life . My addition in gas and oil is fun and my wife has never told me not to make a purchase when she knew I wanted it and I could afford it.

Gene & Kelly

I am very fortunate. My wife understands that my old cars and gas and oil stuff is preforming better than our cd's in the bank.
She trust that i am not out to squaunder our money.
If buying something gives us an excuse for a family weekend trip she is all for it. When she wants a new deck for the house she gets it, no questions asked. If i am happy she is happy and it seems to have a snowball effect.
She's the best!!!!!!

After having read all the posts in this thread, it becomes quite apparent. The common underlying themes in all our responses and experiences are respect, trust and communication. The magic ingredients that make all relationships flourish; be it strangers, friends, children or spouses.

A friend of mine say's " It is easier to ask permission than to beg for forgiveness" lol

I sell scrap and what ever comes along to put in my separate checking account and never tell my wife what I spend . Most of the time I keep the new stuff out in the garage out back and bring it in after a cooling period . some time she sees something new in the basement and ask where it came from.but as long as the bills get paid she is fine with it.

I just got re-married on July 4th last summer, I'm honest with her about the current market and which items good/bad. So, she understands that when its time to step up, you can't sleep or someone else wil get it. She enjoys hunting for stuff with me now that shes starting to learn the hobby. I'm not sure how she's going to react when I drop $7 or $8K on a rare pump yet? I usually already have 2 or 3 potential buyers lined up when I make a larger purchase just to be safe. The worst wives (like my first one) are the ones who get so greedy and involved with your business that they insist that you aren't selling your stuff for enough money, and not making a big enough profit. This one is a breath of fresh air. Goober