A few on Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris never calls the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Waldo was hiding from Chuck Norris.
How many pushups can Chuck Norris Do? All of them.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Simon does what Chuck Norris Says .....
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France, on a stationary bike...
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
The Boogie Man checks under his bed each night for Chuck Norris before going to sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he just dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Do you know why infinity goes on forever?...Because it knows Chuck will be waiting for it to end.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
The big bang was the universe getting out of Chuck's way.
Chuck Norris won an argument with his wife.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
The last time Chuck Norris sneezed, Earth was rotating on the opposite direction.
When Chuck Norris was born he didn't cry, so the doctor slapped him on the bottom. After 2 surgeries and 6 months of rehab, thankfully, the doctor was able to return to work.
